


Keeping you warm

by boxofwonder



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, TW: Homophobia, it's literally all about dealing with homophobia, very very bittersweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 03:31:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2333663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofwonder/pseuds/boxofwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He would have given anything to keep Suga safe from that, but the world, the world didn't care about what he would give - it took what it wanted, and left behind things which couldn't be fixed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeping you warm

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a happy gay kid, but homophobia sometimes really dulls the fun of it. And after going through the Coming Out Simulator I really, very badly needed an outlet. Sorry that Daisugas got dragged into this.
> 
> (If you're curious about the simulator, I'll link it in the end notes. Just beware, it's ... heavy stuff.)

to: Suga   
4.30 p.m.  
how did it go? 

to: Suga   
4.50 p.m.  
it's been like two hours

to: suga   
4.50 p.m.  
i'm slowly getting worried. hope everythings okay 

to: suga   
5.13 p.m.   
please call/text me as soon as you can 

to: suga   
5.17 p.m.  
i'm sorry. i feel like i pressured you into this and ... 

to: suga  
5.18 p.m.  
i just hope everything is alright 

to: suga  
5.18 p.m.   
i love you 

to: suga   
5.59 p.m.   
suga ... ? 

to: suga   
6.20 p.m.  
sorry for blowing up your phone. you'll probably scold me for this later

to: suga   
6.21 p.m.   
i hope youre all busy over there ... talking. doing family stuff. or something. 

to: suga   
7.01 p.m.  
anything. just a small text so i know youre alright? please

to: suga   
8.34 p.m.   
if you don't next back in the next fifteen minutes i'm coming over to your parents house okay 

to: suga  
8.34 p.m.   
*text 

to: suga   
8.44 p.m.  
look i dont wanna barge in on family stuff but 

to: suga   
8.45 p.m.  
im going nuts here 

to: suga  
8.45 p.m.  
i just 

The clattering of the phone on the table when he dropped it made him wince, spiked up the headache which had been gradually building up behind his temples. He nearly banged his hip on the table when he stumbled to his feet, shoving the chair out of the way with too much force, but it didn't fall, landed on its feet the second Daichi's hand was on the door knob. 

"... Suga."

His boyfriend didn't meet his gaze, trembling hands clutched tightly around the strap across his chest, the bag at his hip stuffed so full, the zipper wouldn't close. Daichi could see it on top, the soft, light blue hoodie he'd given Suga for his last birthday, darker now that it was soaked from the rain. 

Suga took a shuttering breath and raised his head slowly, his hair dripping and clinging to his face. Even his eyes seemed darker, and were red-rimmed and puffy.   
Daichi's hands curled into fists when he noticed the angry, red marks of violence on his cheek and uncurled helplessly when Suga forced his lips into a wobbly smile. 

"... c-can I ... m-maybe ... stay with you?" 

A tiny, broken noise escaped his lips and he bent forward just a bit, his arms still across his chest, as if trying to shield himself. 

Something inside of Daichi broke. 

A heartbeat later found him holding Suga in his futile attempt of keeping this hateful world away from this beautiful, beautiful boy, his eyes stinging from the knowledge that his presence alone would never be enough ... caused all this in the first place, somehow. 

All he could do was bury his hand in Suga's wet hair, gently massaging soothing circles into his scalp, mumbling empty reassurances, promises which didn't mean anything in this moment, but Suga kept clinging to him as if he hoped they could one day. 

Daichi lifted the heavy bag from Suga's shoulders and put it aside. He made hot cocoa while Suga showered, put on his favourite movie, got the blanket from his bed and gathered all the pillows he could find. He hung up the clothes which had gotten wet on top of the bag, on that shitty five dollar triangle monster of a drying rack which he appreciated only because it was so small he could step over it and still reach the kitchen when he put it up. 

He carried the mugs to the table and wondered whether Suga took this long because he had been freezing so much after walking all this way through the rain and wanted to warm himself up. But, the hot water should have run out already ...

Maybe Suga needed space, not a doting overly-worried boyfriend fussing over him. 

The cocoa was lukewarm when he called bullshit on that theory, got up to his feet and forced himself to gently knock on the door - instead of giving in and knocking furiously, sick with worry.

"Suga?" 

All he could hear for an answer was his own breathing, then, a quiet, muffled sound. 

"Suga, I'm sorry, I'm coming in -" 

His boyfriend hadn't locked the door in the first place. 

He sat with his legs up to his chest, face buried at his knees. His hair was damp and tousled, and the towels he had used after showering were hung over the shower walls neatly to dry. Daichi tried to swallow the helpless lump in his throat, but it only seemed to grow. He knelt down in front of Suga, his knee getting damp from a wet spot on the floor.   
Suga sniffled, hiccuped, his body shaking as he tried desperately to keep his composure. 

"I ..." His voice was so strangled, it had to hurt, trying to force the words out. "I'm still ... their son. ... nothing changed. So why ...?" 

"Suga ..." 

There was nothing else Daichi could say, only a pathetic, broken call of his name. No words in the world could soothe the wounds Suga had suffered today. He would have given anything to keep Suga safe from that, but the world, the world didn't care about what he would give - it took what it wanted, and left behind things which couldn't be fixed.   
Suga moved, his nose still on his knees, but his wet eyes glancing up at him, and whispered something into the fabric of his pants Daichi couldn't catch at first. He opened his mouth, not sure whether he should urge Suga to repeat it, but then his boyfriend did on his own. 

"This isn't wrong. We - this isn't _wrong_. How could it? How could these feelings be wrong?" 

"They're not", Daichi told him, nearly choking on how fast he pushed those words out. "They're not, they're -" 

Suga caught the words he had wanted to say, sealed them with his lips between them, his kiss pushy and wet and entirely too desperate. Daichi pushed his elbows back hastily, easing the fall as they toppled over, Suga's lips still on his as if this kiss was a lifeline that could keep his broken heart beating. There was another wet spot soaking his shirt under Daichi's left shoulder blade and a teardrop that wasn't his own fell on his cheek. 

He tried to pull back, so he could comfort Suga instead of making out on a bathroom floor, but with a desperate noise, Suga followed, caught his mouth again. His lips moved as he shifted, one knee between Daichi's legs and their chests so close together, Daichi could feel how fast his was heaving from breathing so hard. Helpless, he was completely helpless, responding to the kiss because if that was what Suga needed, of course he would give it to him, but really, was this really a way to help him right now? 

Daichi reached up, resting his hands along his face, brushing his thumbs over Suga's wet cheeks. He tried to soften the kiss, meet Suga's desperation with calm reassurance. 

He was here, and he wouldn't leave. 

He was here, and he would never leave. 

Slowly, the kiss lost its feverish touch, calmed down into nothing but a soft connection. Suga kept trembling - the tears kept coming. 

In a split-second decision, Daichi pushed himself up, and Suga reluctantly followed, blinking as if he had trouble finding himself in this situation. Without a word, Daichi took his hand and led him back out into the living room, where the movie had already reached its climax, the crescendo of dramatic music stopping abruptly when Daichi muted the TV. He made Suga sit down and wrapped him up in a blanket, kissed his cheeks and his eyelids, his mole and his nose. 

He tried filling the silence with whispers, futile attempts to find words which could express what Suga meant to him, as they curled up together on the tiny sofa, creaking with every movement, Suga wrapped up in the blanket and Daichi's arms, his head leaned back against his shoulder. 

He was clutching the cold mug of cocoa, taking a sip from time to time. 

"You don't have to drink cold cocoa ...", Daichi had told him, but Suga had looked down at the cup in his hands, and Daichi didn't have to see his face to know there was a small, sad smile on his face. 

"It doesn't matter. I feel warm anyway ..." 

 

The words were still ringing in his mind, when Suga was long asleep in bed next to him, their limbs tangled in the narrow room the small mattress left them. Daichi breathed a kiss to his temple, buried his nose at Suga's neck, and closed his eyes. 

He swore to himself he would do anything to keep Suga warm.

**Author's Note:**

> Hhhhh. The world can be a cold place, but we'll get by. Also, just to clarify: part of it is own exprience, of course it is - but compared, I'm still pretty damn lucky with the people around me, and the important members of my family. So no worries! 
> 
> The simulator itself for anyone interested: http://ncase.itch.io/coming-out-simulator-2014
> 
> Keep your heads up, friends. We're all wonderful and lovable and if the world slaps you, stare it dead in the eye and just. Keep. Fighting.


End file.
